Up in here

Sometimes I feel tired after a long days working, or witnessing, or whatever it is that makes me feel like a “gooder person” than I am.

I don’t know why I get this sense of pride sometimes, or like I am really accomplishing something, when 99 percent of the time I am thinking solely about myself.

But I just want to put more smiles into the world.
I want to live a little less for me and a little more for others.
Can it be that hard to do?

Some days, it really does seem that hard. I just get so tired sometimes! I think to myself, I think, "I work hard, you know… I try so hard to get things right… Still I’m a million miles from perfect!!

Baka! Why can’t I just remember; He’s not asking for my perfection… just for my love. Perfect? HA!

...Still, I have no excuse for not loving, and not giving.
I can always love… and when my own love fades away, I can always ask for His… because His love never fades.

I am getting desperately afraid of going to heaven for I have had the vision of the shame I shall suffer as I get my first glimpse of the Lord Jesus; His majesty, power and marvelous love for me, who treated Him so meanly and shabbily on earth, and acted as though I did Him a favor in serving Him!

No wonder God shall have to wipe away the tears off all faces, for we shall be broken-hearted when we see the depth of His love and the shallowness of ours.